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around the house, I took them off, fearing mother would return, and I started to cry. In my subcon- scious, the corset and bloomers were caresses and protection. Every opportunity that I had after that I used to repeat the same performance, adding a slip and the high heels.

Father was very strict, aggressive and even vio- lent. I was of a sensitive nature and there was softness in me that was demanding to be expressed. But father was asking me to be aggressive, to be: ready for a fast decision at all times, so he sent my softness under ground. One thing I forgot to mention at the age of six, one night I asked father for a kiss before going to bed. He pushed me away and gave me his hand instead, saying "men do not kiss each other. Once more I was frustrated and I never mentioned the word "kiss" again. He was a father but not a friend to me. I was living alone out of this world.

Father would humiliate me in front of others. It seemed to me that he was afraid to take my part in front of others, boys or adults. When he would help me in my mathematics, he was impatient, and very severe. I used to fear him very much and it had a lot to do with my temper. When I did wrong in the day time, my mother would tell him at supper and I had a punishment coming. Even if it was against my nature, I became aggressive and violent like my father, being afraid to be gentle and quiet. I be- lieve that is why I am still violent and aggressive today as a man. And to express my softness, I have to wear dresses, it being impossible to be soft and passive as a man.

At 15 I fell in love with a girl and the urge went underground. At 28 I got married after having served four years in the Army. I did not know then that it would come back after marriage, but it did. For 15 years my wife tolerated me after I told her my feelings. Then after reading "The TV and His

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